Metal Mech: Man & Machine
System: NES
Release Date: March 1991
Developer: Sculptured Software
Publisher: Jaleco
Genre: Action
Mechanical aliens need to be blasted to smithereens in Metal Mech: Man & Machine! It’s present day (2025) and the alien presence has turned menacing. With a great amount of precision and tactics, the mechs take over the rural areas and group up to attack the cities. With a captured mech, scientists fitted it for human use. You’re the pilot chosen to find your way to the Alien Queen, but it sure isn’t going to be easy.
The object of each level is to find a hidden key and then make your way to the exit. You can control either the mech, or press the Select and A Buttons together to eject. Controlling the pilot is a much squishier choice, but there are small areas that only he can fit in. You also need to be out of the mech in order to pick up items that you uncover. I mostly found mech health and smart bombs. There are secondary weapons that you can collect and switch among by pressing the Select and B Buttons together, but I didn’t find them to be an upgrade.
It took me a lot longer than I’d like to admit to find my way out of the simple first level. The reason isn’t necessarily because the game is hard, but the mech controls horribly. It takes a bunch of extra frames after you’ve stopped pressing a direction. If you start shooting while moving, you keep moving as long as you’re shooting. You get used to it, but that doesn’t mean it’s good. Some enemies must be jumped on in order to kill them, but jumping is super janky, too.
The design choices in this game are really irritating. At the top of the towers in level 2, there’s a magnet device that traps your mech. You have to get out and kill it, but it respawns once you get back on screen! I made it to the third level and got pissed off by this machine that grabbed my mech and walked me back to the start. I tried jumping out and moving forward, but that was just a quick way to die. Then I bailed.
Graphics: 2.0
The game looks alright and this is the best thing I can say about it.
Sound: 0.5
The noise from shooting silences the crappy music.
Gameplay: 1.0
You can move the mech, but it’s super unruly. Controlling the man is a quick way to die.
Difficulty: 1.0
You’ve got some lives and continues, but the levels are incredibly obtuse and sloggy.
Fun Factor: 0.0
I hated every second of this game. It’s awful.
Overall Rating: 0.9
Metal Mech: Man & Machine earns a D. This is a horrible and terrible game and you should never play it. It doesn’t deserve the D it got.