Garry Kitchen’s Battletank
System: NES
Release Date: September 1990
Developer: Imagineering
Publisher: Absolute Entertainment
Genre: Shooter
Step into the cockpit of an M1 tank and head into enemy territory in Garry Kitchen’s Battletank! A NATO Commanding Officer has been taken hostage by the enemy. It’s up to you to head deep, deep behind enemy lines and get him back. Complete 10 missions, destroying countless tanks, helicopters, and strategic buildings to achieve your mission.
You can change your heading by pressing left or right. The angle of your gun is controlled by pressing up and down. If you want to change your speed, you have to hold the B Button while pressing up or down. Trying to get from point a to point b normally is pointless. Instead, you need to go to the map, where you move much more quickly. Once you reach your goal, go back to the battle screen and start shooting!
You have four different weapons to switch among. Your main 150 MM cannon fires high impact shells. These guys do great damage if you align them properly. The Wire allows you to lock on to an enemy from a great distance, blowing it up immediately. I used these mostly on helicopters. The Smoke Screen obscures you from the enemy, but allows you to continue to fire. I should have gotten more use out of these, but my brain didn’t think to use them. Lastly, you have the .50 caliber machine gun that fires rapidly, but overheats if you shoot for too long.
Killing all of the tanks, helicopters, and buildings unlocks the boss stronghold of the level. These have multiple spots where enemies are shooting at you, and requires you to target and kill them quickly. Unless you use a smoke screen. Tanks barely hurt you, but hitting a mine or getting shot by a helicopter will drain your six hit points very quickly. I also ran into a hanging glitch multiple times where the game just froze for several seconds.
Graphics: 1.5
You’re looking at your HUD and plain surroundings. Enemies have several frames of animations, though.
Sound: 1.0
Sounds are honestly pretty grating.
Gameplay: 1.5
Get on the map, travel to the next target, shoot, try not to die, repeat.
Difficulty: 2.0
One continue is available, then start over again. Hope you don’t have to fight too many helicopters!
Fun Factor: 1.5
It’s enjoyable for a few levels, but then the novelty wears off and you just want it to be over.
Overall Rating: 1.5
Garry Kitchen’s Battletank earns a C-. At first, the faux-3D is impressive, but there isn’t much to back it up. I wonder if the Super version is any better.