Smash T.V.
System: NES
Release Date: September 1991
Developer: Beam Software
Publisher: Acclaim Entertainment
Genre: Shoot ’em Up
Murder your way to fortune and fame as you participate in Smash T.V.! By the year 1999, ultraviolence is the only real form of entertainment the masses will accept. Reality TV peaked in this timeline, but you can earn massive riches if you happen to have wired reflexes. Unfortunately, if you don’t, you’ll collect nothing, as you’ll be dead. So the question is, do you want to risk life and limb for fabulous prizes?
You may not know this about me, but I’ve played a lot of Stardew Valley in my life and one of the first things I do when starting a new game is go play Journey of the Prairie King to completion. Thus, I’m very familiar with Smash T.V. though I don’t think I’ve ever played it before. You can choose to play one or two players with one controller or two each. If you have two good d-pads, play with two controllers. In one controller mode, the A Button shoots in the direction you’re facing, but if you hold the B Button, you will continue to shoot in that direction while moving in others. If you play in two controller mode, the d-pad on the first moves you, while the d-pad on the second shoots.
Waves of enemies come at you from all four sides. You have to run around, not get hit, and kill them all. While you’re trying not to die, remember you’re in a game show and as such, you want to win fabulous prizes! Items appear on the screen for a short period of time. Presents, gold bars, and cold hard cash add to your points total. But these aren’t the only things you can find scattered around the stage.
Weapons. Lots of temporary weapon upgrades are available if you can get to them. The amount of charge they have left is shown in the upper left corner. I found the grenades to be the least useful because of their short range, but they did do some damage. The shotgun blast was nice, as it wasn’t short on range and could hit three enemies per shot. The missile is exceptionally overpowered and quite welcome when going up against difficult enemies. Ninja blades are a rotating barrier that take out enemies who get too close. The shield gives you some temporary invulnerability, but don’t get comfortable, because it doesn’t last for long.
After clearing a room, you’re given a chance to move to another. Sometimes you have one path, other times, there is a choice. You can find your way to bonus rooms that are filled with cash, gold, and presents. These are nice if you’re trying to max out your score. The goal of each level is to find a boss. These guys aren’t terribly difficult, but they will take a lot of time and precision to defeat. I think this will be much more playable on the SNES, assuming the controls work as I expect.
Graphics: 1.5
The game looks serviceable at best, but nothing nice to look at.
Sound: 1.5
Lots of gun shooting sounds, the occasional ditty, and some rough voice clips.
Gameplay: 3.0
The two controller setup is better than the one controller, but still not perfect.
Difficulty: 3.0
Extra lives pop up frequently, but once they run out, it’s game over.
Fun Factor: 3.0
I liked playing this. I dig the dual stick shooter. It just needs dual sticks!
Overall Rating: 2.4
Smash T.V. earns a C+. This is a neat concept, but the execution had a way to go. Give it a shot.