My Hero (SMS)

My Hero Box Art

My Hero

System: SMS

Release Date: September 1986

Developer: Sega

Publisher: Sega

Genre: Beat ‘em Up

Moving on to My Hero on Sega Master System. This is another arcade port from Sega. What to say about My Hero? Well, I’ll start with the premise and gameplay. You are Steve and you’re having a nice walk with your girlfriend Remy in the park, when this no good, troublemaking, seedy punk runs up to you, punches you in the face and runs off with your lady! Prepare for vengeance you jerk! I figured, “Oh, it’ll be like Kung Fu. I liked Kung Fu.”

Mohikan stealing my girl, Remy.

Steve takes off in hot pursuit, but the girl-stealer, named Mohikan, has a whole gang of punks that he sends to impede your progress, and impede they do. Steve can punch with the 2 button, kick with up + 2 button, sweep with dowm + 2 button, and do a jump kick with the 1 button. Just forget about punching and kicking. Y’see, Steve goes down in one punch and the punks run at you in swarms. You might get one, but then one of the others have an open shot to kill you.

Jump kicking a knife throwing short fella.

In this game, you just spam the jump kick. As long as you’re in the jump kick animation, you’ll kill them when you touch them. This is useful for enemies and bottles being thrown at you by enemies. You have to be on the look out for short knife throwers, bouncing spine balls, bombs, fire, bulldogs, pigs, and more.

Sweep the leg!

If you make it to the end of the stage, you do battle one on one with Mohikan. The first to hit the other 10 times wins. As with the stage, punching and kicking are worthless, just jump kick until you take him out. Steve, being a good guy, consoles Mohikan after beating him, but as soon as Remy reunites with her man, Mohikan goes full House of Torture. He nails a low blow and grabs the girl once again.

He’s riding an invincible pig.

Steve starts in hot pursuit once again and fights much of the same enemies. Once I got to short dudes riding invincible pigs, I scoffed. Once I got a bomb thrown at my head by one of the little guys, I got a game over. Once I read that the whole game is the same three levels on loop, I bade Remy a farewell and quit.

Graphics: 0.5

These are some unattractive graphics. Look at Steve’s face. It looks like the mascot for Jack in the Box.

Sound: 0.5

Could that song be any worse? I would have preferred silence.

Gameplay: 0.5

One hit deaths, attacks that leave you wide open to death, invincible pigs. No.

Difficulty: 1.0

Incredibly cheap, but I had level one tactics figured out in 20 minutes.

Fun Factor: 0.5

Not fun. Angering.

Overall Grade: 0.6

My Hero earns itself a D-. It is bad. It’s not like Kung Fu, it’s a super cheap ripoff of Kung Fu that feels cheap even for knockoff stores.

My Hero Video Review on YouTube