The Untouchables
System: NES
Release Date: January 1991
Developer: Special FX Software
Publisher: Ocean Software
Genre: Shooter
Put an end to bootleggers and honest businessmen in the Untouchables! Based on the movie of the same name, it’s up to Eliot Ness and his crew to stand up to Al Capone in this Prohibition Era based shooter. Can you make it through seven scenes and put an end to the wave of organized crime?
You begin in the alleyways in a shootout with unsavory looking characters. They pop out of windows and shoot at you. You’re equipped with a shotgun which offers you two shots before you need to duck behind the building and reload. There are several windows and doors that the mobsters can pop out of. You then have to move your very slow cursor to the bad guys before they pop back in the building. You’re on a time limit and need to take out a certain number of guys in that time. It took me several tries before I succeeded. The next level is a little platforming shooter where you need to shoot the gray hat wearing baddies to collect evidence. Running out of ammo is bad, so make sure you walk past any icons with a big A on them. You’ll be jumping up boxes awkwardly throughout this level. Again, you have to beat the time limit.
Scene three is one of the most irritating levels I’ve come across. You are rolling left and right while trying to shoot bottles of booze to collect evidence. There are no crosshairs, so you need to constantly shoot to see where you’re aiming. Move your aim too far and you do a little roll, messing yourself up. The bottles appear at random spots, meaning you need to hope for some good luck to beat the time limit. All the while, a countless number of thugs are shooting at you, draining your health. If your life bar empties, you switch to your next man. But if Ness dies, it’s game over even if you win the level. Therefore, you need to remember to press the Select Button to change characters before they die and allow them to regenerate.
Scene four sends you back to the alleys and you can take any time you have left to the next street. Scene five sends you to a railway station, where a baby carriage is moving forward. You need to guide it through the level while you’re being shot at by purple clad enemies. If the carriage gets stopped by an obstacle, you lose. You’ll play the level a lot learning the layout for one good run. Continues are unlimited, so you can keep trying until you get it. Man, these guys are shooting a baby!
Scene six gives you one chance at saving a hostage. The bad guy moves back and forth with the hostage held in front of him. You need to raise your gun and blow him away before he takes out your witness. If you die, you’re sent back to the baby carriage level, which is not fun. Luckily, you’re given the opportunity to practice the level before giving it a shot. The last level has you on the rooftop where you need to shoot hitman Frank Nitty many times. You can reload, but have to be behind a wall to do it. It was very difficult to get Ness to move where I wanted and I died a countless number of times. Finally shooting him off the building allows you to put Capone away for a decade.
Graphics: 1.5
I mean, it doesn’t look horrible, but it doesn’t look good.
Sound: 1.0
There’s a song and sound effects. Not particularly pleasing, but they exist.
Gameplay: 1.0
All the levels play like ass. They’re functional, but not any good.
Difficulty: 1.0
You’re going to be fighting the bad controls for the entirety of your play. Unlimited continues is the only way you’re getting through.
Fun Factor: 0.5
This was really a bad time. Very frustrating and lousy.
Overall Rating: 1.0
The Untouchables earns a D. You’ve got a boring, lame, and all around poor title to avoid here.