Rocket Ranger
System: NES
Release Date: June 1990
Developer: Beam Software
Publisher: Kemco*Seika
Genre: Strategy
Save the Earth from the invading Nazis… errr… Leutonians in Rocket Ranger! An invading force from the moon is looking to take over the world. The United States sends in its best young scientist equipped in a rocket suit to do battle against the Leutonian armed forces. Take out zeppelins, planes, and soldiers to save the day.
Your time is split in two different modes. The first is the War Room. Here, you command five CIA spies. You place them in different regions around the Atlantic Theater with one of two orders. The first is to infiltrate. Here you will either find nothing or one of the Leutonians special buildings. The Base adds to efficiency of the Leutonians taking over the world. As you take them out, you increase your time limit by a bit. Your main goal is to find five different rocket labs to put together your own ship to launch to the moon. Lunarium Storage Facilities are essential to find and where you will use the second order, Resistance. You need Lunarium to power your rocket pack and the rocket you will take to the moon. Don’t leave your agents in one area for too long or you increase their risk of being killed.
Once you find Leutonian areas, you want to Take Off and put those alien buttholes down. Here you enter one of many minigames. Taking on bases or Germany… I mean Leutonia, puts you in the skies with your rocket pack tasked with downing enemy fighter planes. They come on screen in formations and can shoot at you. It’s important to avoid the gun fire, as three hits means you lose. The aiming is horrible and incredibly difficult to control. Rocket Labs have you in a one on one brawl with a guard. These take a real long time as you hold the A Button and a direction to punch, or block by holding up. I found if you start holding down and the A Button from the start, you can win without a problem.
The Leutonians kidnap a professor and his daughter right off the bat. The professor is enslaved to increase their Lunarium mining yields. To stop them, you can attack the zeppelin in the Atlantic. Here, you have to shoot enough missiles that come your way before the airship leaves the screen. If you shoot enough, you then are tasked with taking out the gondola. Just don’t hit the balloon or it’s kaboom! If the professor and his daughter are captured, you can rescue them by attacking the hidden desert base. This night time raid requires you to drop bombs on tanks. South America usually holds a Lunarium Storage Facility and you have to assault a temple to access it.
If you don’t act quickly enough, you’re arrested for cowardice, so you can’t wait too long for intelligence. No matter if you keep saving the professor or not, when you complete the rocket, they are kidnapped and taken straight to the moon. Hopefully you’ve saved up 200 units of fuel to blast off the planet. If so, you have to shoot a bunch of Leutonian ladies similarly to the temple scene. If you kill enough, you face off against the boss monster of the moon. Defeating that saves the girl and ends the game.
Graphics: 2.0
Lots of green and brown. Everything looks alright, though.
Sound: 1.5
The music is short and is replayed constantly. The sound effects can be ridiculously annoying, especially the digitized scream of the last boss.
Gameplay: 1.0
All the minigames play horribly. Just badly designed.
Difficulty: 1.5
The RNG can take away your agents and make for a difficult attempt.
Fun Factor: 2.0
I dunno, I kept playing. I wanted to stop, but I couldn’t.
Overall Grade: 1.6
Rocket Ranger earns a C-. It wasn’t good, but I kept playing over and over again. That must mean something.